Viva La Cows
by Rinapants
Summary: Once upon a time, there was a cow who wanted to rule the world with animemanga characters. This is their story...
1. Cows?

**Title: Viva La Cows  
Genre: Humor/Parody  
Authors: Rina Of The Falling Stars and the um… other one…um… Completely Innocent Tora-Chan…  
Rated: K, Kyo has a bad language!  
Warnings: It's gimped. OOCness.**

Rina: ((Grins)) I like this movie (We were watching The Day After Tomorrow or something like that…)

Tora: Moo?

Rina: ((sigh)) Yes. Moo. ((Stops burning math textbook))

Disclaimer: We do not own Fruits Basket, Haru, the plot, or our sanity. We also do not own Allison the Cow.

Specail thanks to: Allison, because of her crazy ideas for taking over the world. ((shifty eyes)) The chair is going to eat my bottom.

_Is when you know Rina is saying something, still in narration  
__Is when Tora butts her ugly head in(Just kidding. DON'T HURT MEH!)  
_Normal narration (I think that's spelled wrong…)  
((A/N or some weird goop or something like that))  
"Blah Blah Fish" Their talking, duh.

Kyo woke up early one morning, well he always wakes up early. But today he heard a MOOO!

Yes. You heard us right. A moo. Like in cow. A cow moos. Got it? Good.

He walked into the living room and there was a PILLOW!

**_No…. Way…!_**

BUT! The pillow was no ordinary pillow. It has a note attached to it!

" Dear Kyo;

I have decided to join the cows. Tell my mom, Aktio, etc. etc.

Sincerely,  
Haru  
P.S: ((Insert gob of spit.))

"What the ((loud crashing noises)) was he thinking?" Kyo snapped angrily.

Yuki came downstairs.

"Thanks for waking me up, Baka Neko." Yuki said venomously.

Kyo leapt into Yuki's arms.

"OH YUKI! WHAT SHALL WE DO?"

… Pause…

"Um… Are you one cat nip?" Yuki asked.

Awkward silence

"Oh sorry…"Kyo let go of Yuki and patted his shoulder. Then went to his room to scream into a pillow.

Yuki followed him.

"Kyo?" Yuki asked, " BAKA NEKO!"

"Wha?" Kyo asked stupidly.

"What was wrong downstairs?"

"Oh…. HARU HAS RUN OF TO JOIN THE COWS!"

"Oh… Is that all?"

Awkward silence.

"He told me last month."

Awkwarder silence.

" Then-" A loud crash was heard outside.

"What was that!" The looked out the window to see Haru, a heard of cows, and Haru naked.

Tohru walked into the room and looked in the direction they were staring.

"KYAAAA etc. etc.!"

"I AM ONE OF THE COWS! I SHALL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!" Haru yelled.

" I AM A CHICKEN! Oh wait sorry. I AM A COW! MY NAME IS ALLISON AND I MEAN YOU NO HARM!"

Haru mooed.

"Haru! What the hell! Get some clothes on, man! Tohru will bleed to death!" Kyo shouted out the window.

"Oh ya… Hang on!" Haru pulled out a backpack and put on a yellow sundress (Why yellow? No one knows…)

" Not what I meant but OK…"

"Like I was saying…. THE COWS WANT JUSTICE!"

"YA! And we want more chicken feed! Oh and freedom!

Haru looked at her.

"Your not a chicken!"

"QUACK-A-DODDLE-DOO!"

"For the love of… OK. Lets get to the point. KYO, I AM YOUR FATHER!"

"What the hell!" Yuki yelled.

Kyo, on the other hand, sniffed and hugged Haru. "DADDY!"

_**If that were possible. Which it wasn't. Seeing how Kyo was in his room and such…**_

BUT! It did happen! Because… HE JUMPED FROM THE WINDOW!

**… Right…**

"Kyo, I want you to join me.."

"No way, Jack."

"It's pronounced Daddy."

Back upstairs…

"Is it even possible for him to be his dad?" Torhu asked. Yuki gave her a look

"What do you think?"

…. Pause…

"Absolutely NOT!"

"Good girl!" Yuki said as he patted her head.

Back downstairs.

Kyo was wearing black and white and was mooing.

_**But he disagreed with Haru…**_

Oh well!

"FAREWELL!" haru sang as he walked away with his new found son, the heard of cows and Allison, the cow who thinks she is a chicken.

"Wait! First we must brief the humans on our plans. That's what they always do in the movies. We are getting revenge for all the years you have milked us, and kept us as common pets. And we have weapons of mass destruction!" Allison called out.

" And what would those weapons be?" Kyo asked.

" THE MILK-O-MATIC! The automatic milking machine that has struck fear into the hearts of cows for decades. But now! THE TABLES HAVE TURNED MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"OK… then…" Yuki muttered as they walked away."

**Rina: Flame us! Flame us!**

Tora: WEEEE! MILK!


	2. Oo Chickens?

**ViVa La CoWs  
1:20ish, Chapter 2, 4th time rewriting  
In this new chapter, we introduce two new characters, Stephanie the chicken and Bessie the cow. Well enjoy.  
DISCLAIMER: We do not own Fruits Basket or Allison and Bessie the cows (Allison does.). We do own Steph the chicken.(She lives in chains in Giggles cupboard.) **

Rina: I FEEL DEJECTED!((Sobs in corner hugging plushie and some random guy who had the misfortune of walking by at that moment))  
Allison:((Hugs Rina)) Once upon a time, there was a cow who wanted to take over the world with anime/manga characters. This is their story…  
Rina: That would have made a good 1st chapter ope- You have your new summary.  
Allison: Let's just start the second chapter! Until then, I'll be in the dressing room.  
(In a barn in Alberta)

Kyo looked over to Haru and his partner Bessie. Things had been weird the past few days. Haru joining the cows for world domination and all. Other then that life was just peachy, the cows had appointed him their right hand cat…man…thing…

"Kyo! We need those magical thumb thingies you have!" An unimportant cow sang.

Kyo helped the cows out just as Allison started her meeting.

"Welcome to the **C.O.W.E.D **meeting! **C**ows **O**ver **W**orld **E**xtreme **D**omination! Soon the whole world will be **C.O.W.E.D**! Meet our newest member, Haru! He has been made an honorary cow!"

The cows cheered. Kyo pouted in his corner.

"Sure… no one loves the kitty…"

With a flash of white and red a chicken came out of no where, glomping Kyo.

"IT'S A PIGGY!" The chicken squealed**(1)**.

"Bob, you crazy! Shut up! If the cows find us, we won't be able to warn the humans! Do you want to face the milk-o-matic? I DON'T!" The chicken turned to Kyo next, "You saw nothing, you heard nothing, we were never here." The chickens crawled into a hole. "Nothing."

"What happened? And was I called a pig…?"

The chicken, whom is named Steph, popped her head out of the hole, " I TOLD YOU! NOTHING HAPPENED!" She then went back into the hole.

The cows stayed quiet. The unimportant cow tripped, making a loud thud. Another cow began screaming, "OH KAMI! WE'RE ALL GOONA DIE!"

Allison was quick to take action, "GET THE CHICKENS! THEY ARE UNDER THE FLOOR! BESSIE! HEAD THE SEARCH! I'LL GO START UP THE MILK-O-MATIC! THEY'LL REGRET THE DAY THEY MESSED WITH THE COWS!" And of course, it was utter chaos.

The chickens flapped and squawked and then… they were gone. Kyo, however, stood there a few minutes before yelling, "WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEE!"

Allison saw this however.

"Haru! Your son is a traitor!"

"How would I know? HE SAID HE LOVED ME!" Haru sobbed like a lunatic for several minuets moments.

"Are you done crying?" Bessie asked.

"Shad up."

**Elsewhere  
**

"HELP ME! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS PURE AND HOLY AND SANE, HELP ME!" Kyo yelled as he ran inside Shigure's house.

"BOB! We've been followed! That's it, we're cooked, we may as well lie on the chopping bnlock and become tomorrow nights special!" Steph sobbed.

**To be continued… **

_Will the cows rule the world?  
Will Steph and Bob be caught?  
Will we ever answer these questions?  
Only time(and the authors) will tell.  
Tune in next chapter for the bunny- I mean cow song!_


End file.
